After doing some deep soul searching, and talking with another about it, we both came to the conclusion that having 17 kids would not be so bad.

I would never have to get off my couch except to go to the bathroom. OK, so here is my 17 kids and their jobs.

1. Cook - have to be able to churn it out and fast.

2. Laundry - this may need two with the amount of clothes, but hey, I am a tyrant, one can do it, they are young and full of energy.

3. Dishwasher - 17 kids equals a night of suds for this one.

4 & 5. Maids(X2) - I just don't see how only one could do this. This house would be in constant shambles with soo many people.

6. Personal Assistant - I will be damned if I am going to get up off this couch. I have put in 17 years of hard work to build this labor force. I will have a personal assistant to do some items for me. Will also be in charge of scheduling to make sure everything is being done when it is supposed to be done. Will also know how to make all my favorite drinks. Which means he is probably a raging alchoholic by the time he is 13, but that is the price you pay for the best job in the house.

7 & 8. Gophers - The Gophers will work closely with my personal assistant to go and get things I require in a timely fashion. You have to have 2 here. If you need something while the other gopher is out, you are not going to sit around and wait. Idle time is what got you 17 kids to begin with.

9. Shopper - Groceries have to almost be a daily thing unless my house is equipped with a walk in fridge. Clothing and other shopping will also need to be done.

10. Lawncare - landscaping, keeping the dog crap picked up, and all the other fun yard work activities.

11. Maintenance - 17 kids, I guarantee something is always broken.

12. Ironer - working along side the laundry guy to make sure the clothes look good.

13. Finance - Obvioulsy, my smartest kid, to take care of the bills and other financial matters. Giving out allowances and keeping receipts to balance checkbooks, etc..

14. The Spy - will always be the youngest. can stay hidden to and report back to me to make sure there is no dissent within the ranks. The upside to this job is he works closely with me and is rarely in trouble. The downside is getting beat up every night by his siblings. The other downside is knowing you will eventually be too old for the job and will be phased into another, either newly created job, or become a second floater.

15. The Buddy - this one is going to be the oldest male. Need someone to watch TV and football with. Laughing at the other kids here would be acceptable as this one obvioulsy has the best job. He will also be in charge of getting all the player updates through the week and working the gamecasts on Sunday to see any breaking news as it happens.

16. The Floater - someone is bound to be sick almost all the time in this household. The floater will pick up the slack when a sibling is down for the count.

17. The Lazy useless one - OK, 17 kids, you know you are bound to have that one kid that is completely useless. Fat, lazy, good for nothing and usually stays in his room except to come out and eat. I have just learned to accept that. He just screws up anything I tell him to do anyway.


There you go, 17 kids, a happy dad, and an exhausted wife. Getting a full staff was looking a little difficult until after the 7th child in 7 years. After that, the wife was too damn tired to leave the bedroom, so it made it easy to get to full staff in the minimum of 17 years. Just had to step in and lock the door. Not really much different than going to the bathroom.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Glassman,

Post of the year.

I have to admit, coming up with the 17 jobs was actually pretty tough. I could not have completed it without Gians help.

Lets see some more lists. I know I missed a ton of jobs. This was just my list.

Hhmm, makes me think about having more kids.

Wait a minute what am I thinking.

The most important job is getting me a soda or a beer and the two I have already do that so...never mind.

quote:

Originally posted by Glassman:There you go, 17 kids, a happy dad, and an exhausted wife. Getting a full staff was looking a little difficult until after the 7th child in 7 years. After that, the wife was too damn tired to leave the bedroom, so it made it easy to get to full staff in the minimum of 17 years. Just had to step in and lock the door. Not really much different than going to the bathroom.

Your wife, or mine for that matter, had better not ever see this paragraph.

HILARIOUS!!!!

With all of those kids, think of how much more time you could waste on FFL. Heck, you could have multiple leagues just within your family and the losers could get stuck with extra chores.

quote:

Originally posted by Astros:
HILARIOUS!!!!

With all of those kids, think of how much more time you could waste on FFL. Heck, you could have multiple leagues just within your family and the losers could get stuck with extra chores.

This could make for a very competitive Toilet Bowl. Pun intended.

quote:

Originally posted by Glassman:
I would never have to get off my couch except to go to the bathroom.

I don't see why you couldn't build that right into the couch. Why should you ever have to get up? The job of emptying could go to the fattest, laziest one. It would be an excellent motivational job.

quote:

Originally posted by BuckeyeArt:

quote:

Originally posted by Glassman:
I would never have to get off my couch except to go to the bathroom.

I don't see why you couldn't build that right into the couch. Why should you ever have to get up? The job of emptying could go to the fattest, laziest one. It would be an excellent motivational job.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!